Deacon Ed Shoener,
Twentieth Sunday of Ordinary Time, Year C
Many of you may know that we celebrated the funeral Mass for our beautiful daughter Katie this past Monday. It was a beautiful Mass and so many people have been so kind to Ruth and me and our family.
Katie was only 29 when she died. She fought a mental illness called bipolar disorder since 2005, but she finally lost the battle to suicide on August 3rd.
Today’s second reading from Paul’s letter gives me comfort – and I hope can give comfort to any of you who have a hard struggle in your life – be it mental illness or some other illness, financial troubles or some other significant source of suffering.
Paul writes this about Christ: “For the sake of the joy that lay before him he endured the cross, despising its shame, and has taken his seat at the right of the throne of God”
Katie and so many others who struggle with the evil of mental illness have a tough cross to endure – but I am comforted by knowing that Christ was with Katie while she was enduring her cross. And in far too many ways, the cross of mental illness is also a cross of shame and stigma.
Katie’s obituary has gone “viral” as they say in the social media world because it directly addresses the shame and stigma of mental illness. If you type her name into Facebook – Kathleen Marie Shoener – you will see that her obituary has been shared tens of thousands of times. There was an article on the front page of the Scranton Times today about this and the Washington Post is also preparing a piece on Katie, mental illness and the response to her obituary.
God can make all things good – and I truly believe God has taken the tragedy of Katie’s mental illness and her death by suicide to bring comfort and awareness to many, many people across the country and around the world.
I wrote the obituary just a couple of hours after having been notified of her death. I was in no position to do anything myself at the moment or think clearly – so I am convinced the Holy Spirit guided me in writing those few lines that apparently so, so many people needed to hear. This is how Katie’s obituary reads:
So often people who have a mental illness are known as their illness. People say that "she is bipolar" or "he is schizophrenic." Over the coming days as you talk to people about this, please do not use that phrase. People who have cancer are not cancer, those with diabetes are not diabetes. Katie was not bipolar she had an illness called bipolar disorder. Katie herself was a beautiful child of God.
The way we talk about people and their illnesses affects the people themselves and how we treat the illness. In the case of mental illness there is so much fear, ignorance and hurtful attitudes that the people who suffer from mental illness needlessly suffer further.
Our society does not provide the resources that are needed to adequately understand and treat mental illness. In Katie's case, she had the best medical care available, she always took the cocktail of medicines that she was prescribed and she did her best to be healthy and manage this illness - and yet that was not enough.
Someday a cure will be found, but until then, we need to support and be compassionate to those with mental illness, every bit as much as we support those who suffer from cancer, heart disease or any other illness. Please know that Katie was a sweet, wonderful person that loved life, the people around her - and Jesus Christ.
You know, my brothers and sisters in Christ, our faith, tells us that Katie will be freed from her pain caused by the terrible mental illness of bi-polar disorder, freed from all her fears, freed from whatever attachment she may have had to sin, she will be purified of all of that. She will be purified of anything that made her less than the wonderful, beautiful, vibrant and holy person that God created her to be.
That is what the Church teaches in the concept of purgatory. It is not a place, it is the process God uses to purify us of all that holds us back, to purify us of all that diminishes us – so that we can be restored to who God made us to be – for Katie to made whole and glorious so that she, and each one of us, can be with God in heaven.
Death is transformed by Christ’s death. Jesus has transformed the curse of death into a blessing. Scripture tells us this: “We will all be changed, in an instant, in the blink of an eye, at the last trumpet”. Through Christ death is transformed and, like Paul, we can say: Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” Our answer is that Death is swallowed up in Christ’s victory over death through his resurrection.
Because of the promises of God from ancient times, because of the power and love of Christ’s death and resurrection, because of healing presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives each day - we can all be assured that Katie, all those we love and each one of us can know the mercy and love of God for all eternity.
Amen.